Richard Shamblin - Online Memorial Website

Eddie:

I have no way to contact you other than here, I am so sorry for you loss also... I can't help but feel the whoulda, coulda, shouldas and the why's right now.  I am working diligently on that with a pyschiatrist and 2 therapist.  

Thank you so much for you kind words.  There are so many people who treat you as though you have the plague when suicide is involved.  He had a disease, just like someone who is sick otherwise.  People just don't understand that do they? 

The saddest thing for me besides losing my Rick, is the fact that people treated me so strangly.. I live in the South where everyone takes care of each other, My husband did yard work for all the widows and widowers in the neighborhood.  Cleaned gutters, etc.... even hung Christmas lights for them on all their houses.  Kept many widowers company after the loss of their wives.  I did not receive one phone call, one visit, a flower, a card, or even an offer of food through the entire situation.  Still haven't.  Of course many people showed up for the memorial, but I did get one up on them, I had my husband cremated.  I could not stand the thought of everyone showing up to "see" if they could see any signs of what he had done.  nor did i think I could go through looking at him in that cold box... I had already had my closure with him when he did it.  I was with him... I was with him with my head laying on his legs as he took his last breathe as I screamed into the phone to 911....

I am sure as yourself it will take me time to get through this horrible journey, I don't know if I will ever be able to say my husband was a coward, I know the pain he suffered.  I also know the love he had for me, he showed me each and every day.  I don't doubt he was not trying to hurt me, in his mental state, he was only trying to end his own pain and at that very moment could not focus on what he would be doing to me, so yes, I forgive him... I will forever ache for him.  Yet, he did what he felt he had to do.  It is the only way I am able to look at it.

He was a good man, a compassionate, loving man.  He will be greatly missed....

To Denise.....

I am a complete stranger to you, but I thought I would share this with you.

First: My deepest condolences to you and your family!! May God give you strength during this time. I'm on this site alot, and never have responded to a death until now. I lost my lady a few years ago in the same manner you did. For 2-3 years, all I did was sulk and blame myself. Please do not do this. As hard as this is to say: Those who commit suicide are selfish.

It took me a long time to come to grips with that statement, but after many sessions with a doctor, I realized it was true. Please know and understand that I do feel your pain, and I hope you recover quicker from this than I did. I shut myself down for quite awhile, please don't do what I did. Allow people to hug you and let you cry on their shoulders. Remember: God is with you.

I will pray for you and your family. All the best in the future.   EDDIE

There are so many memories I have, fantastic memories... Yet my loss is still new and very raw.  I will begin to share more and more of the love of my life as my healing begins a bit better than it is at the moment.  
I lost my husband to suicide, it is a horrible tragedy to lose someone that way and yes, the grief is different.  I have lost loved ones before, even lost a husband before, but suicide is such a violent, sudden, never expected loss.
This is going to be a long journey for me, one I must take whether I am ready or not.

God bless everyone who has had to create these pages!!

D.